Hot on the heels of International Woman's Day comes Barbie Day. I was never allowed barbies when I was a kid, which was great of my mum, so they’ve never really held any real significance to me. Clearly Barbies are problematic and it would be easy to write a blog post that’s all ‘Barbies are bad for kids self image, they make women hate themselves, they set up unrealistic expectations, if Barbie was a real woman she’d have to walk on all fours due to her proportions, blah blah blah.’
What I thought would be more fun as today is a celebration day would be to come up with some new 21st century Barbies with David:
White guilt barbie comes with a free Tibet t-shirt, dreadlocks and $73k in college debt
Anti-vacs Barbie comes with an empty stroller
Hipster barbie comes with non-prescription glasses, a septum piercing and a t-shirt for a band you've never heard of
BREXIT Barbie comes with an Irish passport and a new job in Berlin
Pageant mum barbie comes with the sash she won in 1988, a vodka tonic and a dance routine inappropriate for a four year old
Botox barbie is just a regular barbie
Serial killer barbie wears cute matching shoes and handbag and the face of another barbie
Yoga barbie comes double jointed and with alignable chakras
The 'Ivanka' barbie is just a regular barbie
Ruth Barbie Ginsburg comes with a gavel and hip replacement, for a limited time only
Tinder barbie comes with none of the physical attributes you were expecting
Instagram influencer barbie comes with the perfect life and a Ken doll who just wants to eat already
STEM barbie, rare collectable comes with no female coworkers and imposters syndrome
If any of these existed I would totally buy one and it would be my first Barbie!
Barbie day...9/10, had fun coming up with these!